Catching up

Hello everyone!

I haven't posted for a while, so I expect that this post will be quite a long one. I apologize.
At the moment, I am sitting in Second Cup drinking an Italian Soda. It's an absolutely beautiful day outside so I decided to walk over to Second Cup (it took me sixteen minutes). The sun is shining, there isn't a cloud in the sky and it's about +3 (which means that I can wear a spring/summer/fall jacket instead of a parka!). It's wonderful to take a break from everything and just enjoy the beautiful day.

My long hiatus from blogging can be blamed on many things. Mainly, I've been quite busy with Henry V I've had rehearsals almost everyday, and to be honest, I'm now cramming to get my lines into my head. Did I mention that my parts got changed? Instead of playing Alice (the maid to the Katherine), I am now playing Katherine, the princess of France. The guy playing Katherine had to drop out because of a family wedding in the middle of our performance run. So I took on that part along with the other two little parts I've got (Messenger and Grandpre).
We're 10 days away from preview night, and so the atmosphere at rehearsals has changed. Everybody is a lot more alert, focused and quickly hurrying to learn lines. The fight choreography is really coming together, but frighteningly, it seems that my choreography is kind of getting abandoned. We haven't ran it since learning the choreography. Eep! And the girl who is my "fight partner" is currently sick. So I've had to fight with a fake opponent. I know it'll all come together though. The whole thought of acting in a real theatre with real lights and a real technician and a green room and tech rehearsals and everything is still so exciting to me!

My graduation recital is all over and it went swimmingly! It actually went better than I could possibly have imagined! The piano that I was able to play on was this incredible Steinway. If you're not an musician, you might think this sounds crazy, but there are some instruments that you just connect with. It's crazy and sounds weird but honestly, when you touch the right instrument, it's just amazing. It feels completely natural and almost feels like you don't have to do much, like the instrument can feel what you want and respond. It's pretty crazy and I was fortunate enough make a connection like that with this piano. So it was a pretty amazing experience and I felt right at home playing. Thanks for all the support everyone and thanks to those of you who were able to come out!

I should probably write about something other than the arts so people think that I actually do something other than music and theatre. Ha! I actually finally finished that math textbook I was working through (Saxon Algebra 1/2). Ah, finally. It felt good to get it over with and now I can move on. And I got a good mark on the final exam too!

To change subject completely, I was reading The Screwtape Letters (by C.S. Lewis) this morning and I found a quote that I thought was really interesting. (It's in Letter XXI if you're curious to look it up).

Lewis says:
"Men are not angered by mere misfortune but by misfortune conceived as injury. And the sense of injury depends on the feeling that legitimate claim has been denied."
I thought this was a really interesting quote because I can really see the truth in it. We get angry about things because we think we have the right to something "better". We have this idea of what we think we should get out of life and get angry when we don't get exactly what we think we need. Maybe if we took a step back and appreciated what we were given, we would be happier. Hmmm.

Anyway, I think I'll wrap this post up now, so thanks for reading! By the way, I'm still planning on posting Part 3 of my last post. It will just be delayed, as I haven't written it yet. Lol.

Brainwashing

Well. After the overwhelming response to my last post, I can only guess that people don't like answering questions. Or don't like thinking about them (goodness, I hope it ain't so!). And that, my jolly friends, is precisely the topic of my post today. In my opinion, we don't think about big questions enough. We accept things too easily and move on to the next thing. After all, that's what our society teaches us to do. Fast food, disposable technology and and our whole obsession with "fast results" teach us to zoom through things without really taking notice about them. It's the same with ideas. We often don't think about them, and take them for granted, without putting them to a test and thinking for them for ourselves.  There are so many issues out there that people have opinions on, without really thinking through them and often without having researched for themselves. They've just heard them passed down from passed down from parents, friends, leaders etc. and never questioned them. Which is how brainwashing happens. Yay for our generation.

Think.

January 2nd, new year's resolutions, etc.

Today is January 2, the second day of the new calendar year. Of course, the year doesn't begin just because we say it does. You could really start the year at any point in the Earth's rotation around the sun. Regardless, the New Year is seen as a kind of "new beginning". People make all sorts of New Year's resolutions, which usually crash in the first month or two.

I think the reason for this is that although people get really excited about the idea of starting over, they simply aren't willing to change their behaviour, or they don't realise that they have to.

Our culture is so in love with the idea that "this year is going to be different". As if the change between December 31, 2009 and January 1, 2010 makes a difference at all! We should be making goals and "resolutions" the moment we think of them, rather than waiting for the New Year to change us. 

In my opinion, the way to change behaviour is a day by day thing. Instead of focusing on this year, (which is a pretty long stretch), we should focus instead on this week, or today. It's much more practical and much more achievable.

By all means, set yearly goals, but then don't just expect that you're going to achieve them unless you plan and work towards them on a day by day (or week by week) basis.

Anyway, all that said, here are my goals for 2010.

1. Increase the quality of this blog. I'd like to improve my writing, and delve "deeper" into topics of interest. Maybe this year, I'll do some writing about politics, religion, faith, etc.
2. Continue exercising regularly. In 2009, I got into a habit of using our Elliptical for an hour every second day at an increasing difficulty, and so I'm keeping that up. 
3. Begin writing a musical. I'm planning to write the script+lyrics/libretto during Script Frenzy in April, and then work on composing the music during the summer. I'm theoretically working on plot outlines now (actually, I do have ideas). I'm excited.

Okay, written down, those don't look particularly spectacular. Ha. I have more, but I'm not going to bother you with them.

In 2010, other milestones that will come up for me is that I'm doing my final Suzuki Piano recital (a solo recital!) on February 13. I'm majorly excited for that!

Also, on September 22, I turn 18, which means that in Canada, I will no longer be a minor and I will have all the legal rights, which include drinking (not applicable), smoking (not applicable), and voting (YES!!). Crazy. This year, people!!

Happy New Year!

I love Rachmaninoff. And Britten.

Stephen Hough (who is a fabulous pianist/composer/writer and one who I really really think is brilliant) posted on his blog today about composers and how some of them just click for people. You can read the full article here.

He says:
"Perhaps it’s like friendship, we just like certain people and not others; we resonate with certain composers; we are touched by the cracks between their notes; their music has a ’smell’ with which seduces us, leading us willingly into submission beyond analysis or logic.  A composer we love is one where we treasure even the dross, even as we recognize that it is dross. "

I can certainly say that's true for me. For me, two of those composers would be Rachmaninoff and Britten. From the very beginning, their music just enticed me: the textures, the harmonies, the moods, just the very sound. I just like them. It really is just like friendship: you just like certain people, for reasons that you may or may not be able to pinpoint.

What composers (or musicians/artists/bands/singers) do you like? Or heck, let's not limit it to music. What artists (in the visual art sense) or actors or dancers etc. do you admire and respect and just click with? And why (if you can pinpoint it?)

Balloon boy etc

My goodness, how far are we willing to go for fame and attention? Have you been following the saga of  "Balloon Boy" Falcon Heene? Just google it and you'll find loads of hits. Obviously, I don't know the family, so it isn't really fair for me to make judgements, but it appears that this family is willing to hide their son in the garage attic and fake his danger just as a publicity stunt. Goodness me. What has our world come to?

Why I don't (really) believe in peace on Earth

Okay, I'm not trying to sound like a pessimest or anything, but I honestly don't believe in world peace. I just don't think it's going to happen. Whenever I hear somebody say "I wish/pray/hope for world peace," I think they're just fooling themselves. Seriously, in our huge world, there is always going to be somebody who wants to get a head of the game by cheating, lying, killing and being generally bad. And there will always be people to join that person. I just don't think a peaceful world is realistic.

But I think that peace with your self is realistic. I've said it once, I'll say it again. You are the only person you can change and come to peace with. And by doing that, you may be able to influence others to do the same. And maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to increase the amount of happy, loving, people.

Gossip

Hey everyone, I wanted to post today about gossip. Not that it's been especially on my mind recently, but because I wanted to highlight a brilliant passage from one of my favourite plays, Doubt, a parable, by John Patrick Shanley.

Here it is:

A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man she hardly knew – I know none of you have ever done this – that night she had a dream. A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O’Rourke, and she told him the whole thing.

‘Is gossiping a sin?’ she asked the old man. ‘Was that the hand of God Almighty pointing a finger at me? Should I be asking your absolution? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?’
‘Yes!’ Father O’Rourke answered her. ‘Yes, you ignorant, badly broughtup female! You have borne false witness against your neighbor, you have played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed!’

So the woman said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

‘Not so fast!’ says O’Rourke. ‘I want you to go home, take a pillow up on your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me!’

So the woman went home, took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to the roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed.

‘Did you gut the pillow with the knife?’ he says.

‘Yes, Father.’

‘And what was the result?’

‘Feathers,’ she said.

‘Feathers?’ he repeated.

‘Feathers everywhere, Father!’

‘Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind!’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘it can’t be done. I don’t know where they went. The wind took them all over.’

‘And that,’ said Father O’Rourke, ‘is gossip!’

I think that's a perfect allegory for gossip and it's a good reminder for me. I don't think I'm particularly horrible for gossipping, but I would certainly be lying if I said that I don't gossip or haven't gossipped. But it's something that I try to keep in the front of my mind, so I don't fall into it. I like that image of the idea that once out words are out of our mouthes, who knows where they are going to go? Scary, but also something that can be used for good. But if we speak and think with love all the time, that's something that we can be happy about having spread in the wind.

School, and my musical lack of happiness

Hey everybody,

Well, "school" has started for me! Kind of. Being a homeschooler, who's to say when school really begins? But for me, since some of my weekly lessons have begun, and I'm back to practicing piano and flute for hours, and doing math etc, I think it's started for me. I have to admit, I'm pretty happy to be back at it!

Right now, I'm still writing music for my youth theatre's production of The Tempest. It's coming along pretty well (I've written 8.5 minutes!), but I'm finding that I have trouble writing really happy music. Maybe it's because I like really dark music and stuff in minor keys. That's all good when I'm writing whatever I want, but in this show, there's a couple of spots where it's actually gotta to be joyful. It's funny, because if you know me at all, you'll know that I'm a very happy person. I'm not a dark souled, troubled, sad person. Quite the contrary! But when it comes to music, I just like...dark music. So I'm trying to listen to happy, joyful tonal music, as opposed to my regular music (Sweeney Todd, Wicked, RENT, Rachmaninoff, Prokofiev...)

So, that's a little update into my life. :)

To give or not to give PART II

If you remember, a little while ago, I blogged about an experience I had with a homeless guy who asked me for money very persistently. It wasn’t a bad experience, just a thought provoking one. You can read my original post HERE.

And I asked for your feedback! You wonderful readers commented with really thoughtful, great answers, and I wanted to follow up with another post responding to your responses. Thanks for the great, great feedback everyone! Here's some highlights from your comments:

Dorothy said:
“I don't generally give to them, though I do give to homeless shelters regularly.
Sometimes I feel bad, but I think usually it's feeding an addiction. I know a few people that have tried giving food or bus tickets and have gotten sworn at by the panhandler.
This isn't to say it's always the case, but it seems to happen a fair bit."

Anonymous said...
“I usually don't carry money on me, so I can honestly say that I cannot give them any money. If I do carry money, I just carry the amount that I will need to use that day (which helps me not to make impulse purchases) and I keep it in my pocket or another out of the way place, and I say I don't have any change to spare.”

Logan said...
“Also having the money right there would be a hard thing to not give the money, Personally I most likely give out the 5 dollars, but then pray to God that he would do the correct thing with the money, and then next time (if I went busking) when I would go to the market occasionally empty the money into your pocket or something along those lines so it’s not in plain view.”

Josh said...
“Honestly, I don't think that we should decide what they do with the money, if giving them money is going to help them feed themselves then I think it is worth every penny, if they use it for something that isn't going to help them it was their choice. But there is always a chance that it will really help them.
Giving to shelters is always a really good idea, but sometimes I think it's best to give directly to the person in need.”


Dorothy brings up a good point when she says that she gives to homeless shelters regularly. I have to admit that I don't and it is something that I certainly should do. Giving to shelters is definitely a good way to give and be able to know that your money really is going where you want it to go. This would also allow me to say, when asked, "sorry, I give my money to such-and-such-a-shelter". And then I wouldn't have to feel guilty about not helping the homeless.

But I think Josh is also right when he says "“Honestly, I don't think that we should decide what they do with the money." But, but, but...Oh gosh darnit, it's a tough call.

So I have a plan.

Here's the plan.

1. I have decided to give 10% of all my busking money to a shelter of some sort that directly helps people in need.
   
2. When asked, I can realize know I am under no obligation to give money, but if I feel called to, I will give them some money. I'll just see, and judge from the situation. I'll certainly give money if I feel I should.
3. As Logan suggests, I'll also empty my case every once and a while, to avoid obviously having made a bunch of money and denying them a loonie.

So that's the plan! And I'm stickin' to it. I'm planning to go busking tomorrow, so I'll let you know how it goes.


I'll also be back on facebook for the first time in two weeks tomorrow, so I'll post my feelings about my facebook-less weeks then!

To give or not to give?

I had an experience two days ago while I was busking at the farmer's market, and I'd like your opinion on what you think is the correct course of action.

I was busking at the downtown market with my flute and an open case of money at my feet. I had been playing for about 45mins and so a fair amount of money had accumulated. As I was taking a break, a homeless man approached me and asked if I could spare some change. He seemed sober (and I couldn't smell alcohol on his breath) and was not "stoned" as far as I could tell, so I pulled $2 out of my case and gave it to him. I don't usually give money to people who just ask for money, but my money was sitting right there, so I did. 

Then he said "Please sir, can you give me at least $5, enough for a meal?". I said "Sorry", but he kept saying "please". I kept saying "Sorry", but he just kept repeating "Please, I haven't eaten in days". He wasn't being obnoxious, but he was just being very persistent, and finally I fished $3 out of my case and he took it, thanked me and off he went.

I'm never sure whether to give money or not. My kind of default answer is "Sorry, no" but I'm not sure whether that's the best (and most moral) answer. I've seen posters around the city saying not to give money to panhandlers, but to instead give money to homeless shelters and places that provide safe food and shelter. That way you know that it's going toward "healthy" stuff rather than drugs, alcohol etc. I think that's probably the best thing to do. But how could I in good conscience not give him anything when I had a full case of money sitting right there? 

So comment with your thoughts!

• Do you give panhandlers money? 
• Do you think we should just give money freely and believe that it's not our responsibility to know what they do with that money?  
• Should I have caved in and given him that $3?

Thanks for the thoughts.

Folk fest

For the past couple days, I've been attending a Folk Music festival. I mean they call it that, but it's really not limited to folk music at all. You'll hear bluegrass, country, blues, celtic etc. It's great. I've been attending every year for 16 years, which I think is pretty good, seeing as I'm only 16 anyway. Anyway, it was a great festival, I heard some incredible music, and I'm very inspired by what I heard musically.

I was also inspired by something I heard from a little boy. He was probably about six years old. I was sitting on the hill on my tarp, when he and his family walked by. The mom and the dad were looking around and discussing the best place to lay their tarp down. Then the little boy said

"Mom, it looks like they put a lot of work into this, so let's just enjoy it."

It was completely adorable. But more importantly, I think he unknowingly hit right on the head, exactly what I trying to say in this post. I really think that one of the important things about living life is realizing that circumstances are not either good or bad, but simply are and if we simply appreciate them for what they are, we'll be a lot happier with our lives.

What do you do with the time that you've got?

There's a line that's repeated a lot in the songs of the musical RENT, (which is quite possibly my favorite musical ever) that says "no day but today". It's kind of like the "motto" of the show, which is all about making the most of the time that you have on earth.

So, what do you do with the time that you've got?

It's a question that I've been thinking about, because I don't know if I'm really living or not, you know? I mean, I love life, and I'm really very happy, but I'm always wondering if I'm really making the most of my life. What can I do differently? What can you do to really live? Maybe it has something to do with learning to notice every single aspect of your life, and realize that they all come together to make this moment, and then be able to appreciate the moment, not label it for good or bad, but just to appreciate that it is.

Daniel, once more thinking out loud.

Wait, did any of that actually make sense at all?

So as you know, I just got back from a few days in the mountains. I would like to write a little bit about something that I was thinking about while I was there. I don't expect that it will make much sense, as I'm very confused about it myself and I don't know the answer to it at all.
Hmm, it seems like I ask waaay more questions on this blog than I answer... But I suppose it's true that:

"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the unquestioned answers." (Anonymous)

Being in the mountains, I felt very, very small. It was wonderful in some ways, because I felt like all of my problems and concerns were all so insignificant and unimportant to the planet in general. I'm just one small person in the entire universe. It was refreshing.

On the other hand, I'm the only thing in the entire universe that I can control. So is it better to focus on the fact that the universe will go on without you and that your problems are insignificant in the scheme of things, or to focus on the idea that you and your problems are the only things you can control and focus on working on you and not thinking about the universe?

I guess that the best thing is to find a medium between them both- realizing that you can only control yourself, but working on bettering yourself so that you may have an influence on others.

Thoughts anyone?

Daniel, thinking out loud.

I saw a bumper sticker today that said:

HATRED IS LEARNED BEHAVIOUR.

I thought it was interesting, and it made me think, which is good. Do you think hatred is something we learn, or is it an emotion we're just born with? Not sure where I stand on this one.